Nowhere

Exactly one year ago, my flight landed in Williston. I had never been in the state of North Dakota before and was unsure of what experiences I would have here, although I hoped they would be good ones. One thing I was sure of: I had moved to the middle of nowhere. A year ago, I would have pronounced that no where. Now, I can plainly see that I am now here.

It has been an interesting year. Most of that year was spent being hugely pregnant. There were a lot of times where I cursed the winter and every speck of dirt and snow and air in this little town. It is a man's town (I recently heard the ratio of 70 men to 1 woman). But there is something special about this place called Williston and about this time in my life. Somehow they have come together in a way that is beautiful and perfect for us right now. Life and memories are so intertwined with locations. We won't be here forever, and I probably won't miss it too badly once we go, but life in Williston is sweet and simple. We will have another home one day but as I look back on this happy time of our lives, I know some of that happiness will carry over to my feelings about Williston.

People always say that these are the days I will look back on with fondness. The days where my kids are making an argument out of something being a truck or a car (smarty pants Alex), standing up on my bed naked and peeing all over the bedspread (thanks, Edison), or spitting up in my mouth while I try to give kisses (I'm looking at you, Declan). I don't know how much I will miss those things, but I know there will be so much more to miss. Like when they run to me to be snuggled after getting hurt or the way they fit into the crook of my arm while I read them a book. The way they think everything I say is funny or look at me like I can do no wrong. How they want to wear their aprons and climb on the counter to help me cook or that they really want to have conversations with me and hunger for eye contact.

But this isn't the way it will be forever. Our lives keep changing. Time keeps ticking by. I pick up Alex to give him a hug and somehow his legs reach a little bit lower as they swing into mine. Edison gets a little more attitude each day, each minute! One day I won't be Declan's sole source of food. They need me a little less and I need them a little more.

I have arrived at a beautiful time in my life. Some days I may think I am in the middle of no where, but I know that I am actually now here. Right in the middle of it. And I want to breathe it in. Every dirty, sticky, loud minute of it.