I was flipping through channels today during nap time. I ended up on America's Next Top Model reruns. I haven't seen this show for years; I had a roommate in college who was obsessed with it. During a photoshoot, the models were replicating childhood photos. One model had a picture of her holding her baby sister. For the replication, they asked her to model while holding a baby doll. She said, "I don't know how to hold a baby." They told her that doesn't matter; "hold it like an accessory." They went on to describe the baby as a purse.
This is the picture from that photoshoot (source).
I laughed when I saw the result of holding a baby as an accessory. I remember a time when I only had one child: I could look cute, dress up Alex, and then go out like we were super awesome. He kind of was an accessory; a high-maintenance accessory, but still a compliment (alternate spelling and definition of complement also applies) to me.
Babies are the accessory that you can never change out. You cannot get bored with it and go buy a new one. They are not a novelty or a fad. One baby gives you something to talk about or something to distract you if there is nothing to talk about. Two kids don't even give you the chance to talk to other people, so it is a moot point. Now that I have two kids, I spend most of my time looking frazzled. There are many days when I cannot squeeze in a shower between the boys' destruction of the house and nap time. I feel like I am always late to activities. Edison has worn shoes three times in his entire life; I have a white trash baby. I have the frumpy mom look down so well, it is starting to feel normal. I don't even know how to dress up anymore. I feel like I have become the boys' accessory. They use me when and as they please. I am there to provide snacks and entertainment, and to open their doors.
Alex and Edison are my sidekicks. If I am without my kids, I usually just sit staring off into space kind of confused on what I should be doing with myself. I guess they are the purses I will never be replacing. I have found my style. I think they are pretty darn cute accessories.
The one child accessory, and the two children chaos.