A thankful family

Sam is thankful for...
1. The means to get through school with no debt.
2. The opportunity to obtain higher education.
3. Good health.

Emily is thankful for...
1. Eternal families.
2. Laughter brought by sweet memories.
3. The feeling of accomplishment.

Alex is thankful for...
1. Food.
2. Sleeping.
3. A clean bum.

Happy Thanksgiving!


The ugly baby complex.

I am starting to develop an "I have an ugly baby complex." People rarely ask to hold Alex! There are times when he gets passed around like a peace pipe but other times when it seems like he has the plague. We bathe him, I promise! People don't ever tell me that he is cute. I am starting to dig for compliments by telling people that their baby is cute hoping they will return the favor. What in the world?! It probably doesn't help that we are always hanging out with someone who has a very cute baby. But Alex is adorable, too! He does cry sometimes but I don't think it is excessive. He can even be cute when he is sad (see picture below). I feel like I am trying to sell him. Anybody want an occasionally fussy baby who has a winning smile? Just kidding. He's mine!

Is this a face that only a mother could love?


A few recent activities

We have been really busy recently. Here are some of the things I remembered to pull out my camera for.

Cornell's final home football game of the season. We got in for free because the lady taking tickets said, "Your ticket is on hold right here." Then she pulled a ticket out of her jacket, ripped the stub off, and handed it to me. I think she had a crush on Alex.
With Cornell's mascot, The Big Red Bear

Alex was a little bored.

Walking around the Cornell Plantations with some friends. The moms spent most of the time chasing their kids and trying to keep them away from the water. It was pretty cute.

My friend from high school came to interview for Cornell's MBA program. He took us out to lunch at the Ithaca Bakery and it was amazing! Better than Subway. If you know me at all, that is saying a lot about the Ithaca Bakery.
Hey, Joe! That's my sandwich!

We have lived in Ithaca for three months and still had never been to The Commons. We finally went yesterday and tried out this tiny little Indian food place. It was delicious and so cheap! But I was a little worried about food poisoning.
Alex was staring at one of those giant (and tacky) Christmas inflatable globes.

Our ward's Girls Night Out this month was to go see New Moon. I walked out of the theater smiling so I think that means I liked it.
All of the girls.

Jody, Kristen, Emily, and Courtney


All about me.

I realized that I post a lot about what Alex has been doing or what we do as a family and I do not post about myself. But this is my blog so you are going to read all about me! And you're going to like it! I decided that today I will share my feelings as a new mom.

I feel...

Friendless. I have realized something about myself. I always feel new. I feel like everyone around me has been there longer and is more established in their routines. They already have their friends. At church, I feel like I am the new one and that I should be welcomed. The problem is that I do not know who is really there for the first time so I cannot welcome them. So everyone is there wondering why they aren't being welcomed and it's because we are all new. Instead of going to the effort to plan activities and make friends, I wait to be invited to the activities. However, this usually results in me being home alone. I am trying to be more involved. I am also trying to stop assuming that people hate me immediately. I do not want to reject anyone from being my friend. Not everyone can play every day; but on the day someone needs me, I hope to be their friend on that day. I want to be a full-time friend who only works part-time. I hope that makes sense. I'll try to explain it another way: I am available, even if the demand is not always there for me. Related to feeling friendless, I have also become a homebody. There are days when I never set foot outside or even look out the windows. That is pathetic.

Unproductive. Now that I am living in the fourth state I have lived in since I got married, I have had lots of chances to start over. After each move I get to reinvent myself. I always resolve to be nicer, be more social, be more productive, and spend more time with Sam. This move has been different. This time I brought a baby along. He has brought my productivity level to an all-time low. He demands my hands most of the time. This means that I cannot get anything done. I have a board that says, "Goal of the Day." Under that I put a note of the one thing I am supposed to do that day. Sometimes I make the bed and consider myself accomplished.

Exhausted. I never get to wake up on my own anymore. Every morning I wake up because Alex is ready to eat. It is never because my body is done resting. This is definitely getting better but Alex is not yet on a solid schedule so I never know which night is going to be a good one. Sometimes after he goes to bed, I will stay up until 3 or 4am just to have some time alone.

Annoyed. I was annoyed while I was pregnant that everyone has an opinion about what pregnant women should or should not be doing. I didn't now that it was about to get even worse. There are some very opinionated people when it comes to babies. Why isn't your baby wearing a hat? Why are you breastfeeding in public? Why aren't you immunizing your son? Why are you letting your baby cry? Why are you taking your baby to church so young? Why did you even bring a kid into this world?! Shut it already! I do what I want!

Inadequate. I have a husband and a baby to take care of. And they both need me desperately, it seems. Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough to do it, but Sam is very good at making me feel like I can do it. I also feel like I am dumbing down Alex. I am not sure if he is listening to me telling him the times tables or the names and capitals of the states. I just don't know what else to teach him. He stares at the television and I think to myself, "Wow, this kid is going to be dumb as a board if I keep this up."

Entertained. I know that when my baby is near another baby, I look at Alex and think he is the cutest thing ever. Way cuter than their baby! And then I laugh, because I know they are thinking the exact same thing. I think we are both right. He was made just the way he needed to be so I would love him. Not so every other woman would.

So so so so ugly. It is really sad. I cannot look at myself. This is contributing to me becoming a homebody. I do not want to subject anyone else to looking at me.

Jumpy. I talk too much. And I am awful at getting my point across. I will either ramble and never get to the point or summarize so the person I am talking to feels jabbed at by my choppy responses. I just get so excited to actually be talking to a real person who can understand that I want to talk, talk, talk!

I used to be able to remember everything. Conversations verbatim. Now I can't remember if I ate breakfast or not.

The epidural. That's right. I feel my epidural still. Not always though. I only feel it when I am slouching with my head down. Basically, I feel it when I sit in the same position I was in when they put it in. It's weird and uncomfortable. But not painful.

Wasted. I have a degree and use it for nothing. I am not (yet) teaching Alex about the fundamental attribution error or the primacy effect so what use is my degree? I could read a psych book and teach him those same things without having a degree in it.

Bubbly. On top of all the negative feelings that sometimes emerge (I repeat, sometimes! I do not have these feelings all, or even most, of the time), I have never been so happy in my life. Alex makes my life amazing. He does something and Sam and I just look at each other like it is the cutest thing we have ever seen. Even when he is fussy. He makes very cute pouty faces. I just feel happiness bubbling up in my chest and it makes me want to shout out, skip, jump, and twirl. Bizarre. Even when I am feeling any of the feelings listed above, I am always feeling happy as well. Grateful for my life and everything in it. I am not depressed in any sense of the word. Occasionally I think about the negative things and they make me sad but the happiness always wins out. And tomorrow I will try to make more friends, be more productive, get more sleep, be more patient with others and myself, take a shower, breathe, and remember that I am still happy.


One minute party

We celebrated 11/11 11:11 again. Alex woke up just in time to party. He seemed confused but I danced around with him and convinced him that we were having fun. And we were!

Family party!

I drank straight out of the bottle and it exploded on my face... amateur.

He likes to pretend that awesome things like this are lame.

Future alcoholic?


Another reason I love Sam

Sam gets really into sports. Especially this World Series since he dislikes the Yankees so much. Last night, a Yankees player Jorge Posada was up to bat. When he struck out Sam said, "In your face, Jorge! Or should I say, 'GEORGE!'"

Good one, Sam. Good one.


Alex is aging! (3 months)

Weight: 12 pounds, 3 ounces (32nd percentile)
Length: 23.75" (46th percentile)
Head circumference: 40.5 cm (30th percentile)

He learned how to watch General Conference from Daddy.

Macho man.

He has been to eleven states. And he loved every one of them.

He learned how to suck his thumb. Please observe...
I'm gonna getcha!


Lots of family came for his baby blessing this month!

He drools like a champion.

Imagine if kids walked around when they were this small. That would be so cute!

Alex has a nice bald spot. It is starting to grow back now.

He watches Jazz games.

He entertains himself.

He hangs out on the couch (but not for long because he is getting too wiggly)!

He rocks the hoodie.

He arches his back to try to get out of the bumbo.

He likes his carseat a little bit more.

His acne is all gone and his tear duct is no longer clogged!

He started taking a pacifier.

He hangs out in his diaper.

He is so strong and enjoys tummy time even though it usually consists of some face-planting.

Lamest pose ever, Mom.

I'm falling!

Come closer and I'll punch you in that smiling face of yours!

Four little pumpkins.

This is a video of his very first laugh!

Alex is such a great baby. He is becoming more aware each day. He watches us walk around. It surprises me how alert he is now. I love this little boy. He is growing so fast. I like it and I hate it. But there is nothing I can do about it so I better learn to accept it!

Blog Archive