An ode to my beard (Sam)

So as has been my tradition for the past 4 summers since I've been installing security systems, I have once again grown a king sized beard. Why grow a beard in the summer when it is the hottest you say? Well, I have been a BYU student for the past four years as well and growing a beard is not allowed by the Honor Code. I had to get all my beard growing fantasies out during the summer. That's one of the reasons why I always grow it during the summer, but it is also kind of a social experiment. I think that most people when they see a man with a beard make a few snap judgements, here a a few for your consideration:

1. This man is a crazy biker about to go on a cross country trip on his Harley Davidson,
2. This man is a bum, lives on the street, cannot afford a razor, hasn't showered in the last two weeks, and has awful personal hygiene.
3. This man is a lumber jack briefly down from the mountain and deforestation to purchase beef jerky, and ammo for his shotgun.
4. This man will not let go of his dreams of becoming a member of Lynyrd Skynyrd and will begin singing "Free Bird" any moment...

Well unfortunately for everyone, or maybe fortunately for everyone, I am none of those things. I am just a relatively normal guy who loves growing really long beards and occasionally hiding things such a golf tees or pens in there for later use. When I first started growing a beard one of my favorite things to do was attend religious services (the temple, and other services) and participate to the fullest of my abilities. This really threw the older folks for a loop because they did not know what to think of this kook with a beard. I thought it was hilarious!
There have been some drawbacks of having such a large beard though. Before I was married, when I was still single even, I was at a baseball game at Wrigley Field and got picked up on by a 40 year old woman. Being that I was only 25 at the time this was definitely not my target audience :-) I guess she didn't know I like my girls young! Another drawback is when I eat hamburgers and have to take big bites sometimes my moustache gets caught between my teeth and the food, pulling the hair. It's actually quite painful. I could probably go on for hours about beards, but I will spare you. I guess in closing I would just say to all, beards are great, so don't judge people for having them because they might actually be alright guys underneath all that facial hair.


Bryan and Ellie said...

Actually, Sam, I think men with beards are actually often nicer and more thoughtful than those without. Just my observation.


Merkleys said...

You are too funny! Congrats on your Marriage to Emily!

Nancy Face said...

That was HILARIOUS! :D

Blog Archive