Awk Doc

I can't believe I just wrote the word "Awk." I think shortening words is ridic and it's annoying how so many people do it these days. It's so not my fav.

I wish I had recorded this story earlier. I have forgotten many details. I did share the story with Sam the day it happened so we will do our best to recreate it here.

I had an OBGYN appointment two weeks after Edison was born. This is unusual and the only reason I had the appointment was due to the third degree tearing I experienced. Sam was out of town and Kristen was watching Alex so I only had to take Edison to the appointment with me.

After sitting in the waiting room for a few minutes, the nurse took me back to an exam room. She asked if I was there for an *incision check and I said, "Yes." She gave me a routine post-partum depression test and left the room. She came back in the room, I handed her the test, and she said the doctor would be right in (keep in mind that my doctor did not deliver Edison). I thought that was weird since I hadn't been given a robe and asked to undress from the waist down. I decided to just wait until the doctor came in because maybe he wanted to talk about the post partum depression test results.

The doctor walked in and asked me to hop up on the table. I asked if I needed to undress. He said, "No, just sit up here and I'll show you." I gave him a weird face. But okey dokey, he's the doctor. So I laid down on the table and he told me to unbutton my pants and pull them down a little bit. I asked if I was going to roll onto my side or something. I could not figure out how this was going to work. I unbuttoned my pants and he pulled them to the side and then the other side. He was frantically looking around my belly. Then he went and looked at the chart and I realized what was going on. I said, "I delivered vaginally." He was so embarrassed. He grabbed a robe, handed it to me, and quickly left the room. I could tell he was really embarrassed.

I started undressing, and about ten seconds later, the doctor walked back in! He gave me hardly any time! I quickly covered myself (what's the point? He was about to see everything anyway) and asked him to come back in a minute. When he finally came back, he sent the nurse in the room first. We laughed about what had happened and he said, "I wondered why you were looking at me so weird." And I thought, "I wondered how you were planning to examine my stitches through my belly button."

At my six week post-partum checkup, the nurse practitioner gave me very little time to undress and walked in as I was standing right in front of the door with no pants on. Maybe it was a good thing we moved away. I had too many awkward experiences with that doctor.

*Although I was there for my stitches to be checked, for some reason this office calls both things "Incision checks." A separation of terms could probably help reduce some awkward moments.