Have you ever watched a crime show and noticed how incredibly stupid the criminals are? They practically put themselves in jail by the things they do.
I have decided I would be a good burglar and here is why:
1. Everyone else is an idiot. This was the number one rule my Driver's Education teacher taught us and I am convinced it is true.
2. I am not overly selfish. I will take what I can get, and then beat it. I won't hang around trying to empty the entire house.
3. I will be patient and observe the patterns of the residents before making my move.
4. I have been around security system installation companies for four years. If you have a system, you probably don't know how to use it. If you have one, and it is armed, the password is most likely 1234.
5. I won't go back to see if the police have any leads in the case. Why does every criminal return to the scene of the crime?
I know what you're thinking: "Wow, it's a good thing Emily doesn't believe in stealing because otherwise she would take everything I own and never get caught."
Well, I'm here to tell you: It is a good thing.