Why I would make a good burglar.

Have you ever watched a crime show and noticed how incredibly stupid the criminals are? They practically put themselves in jail by the things they do.
I have decided I would be a good burglar and here is why:

1. Everyone else is an idiot. This was the number one rule my Driver's Education teacher taught us and I am convinced it is true.
2. I am not overly selfish. I will take what I can get, and then beat it. I won't hang around trying to empty the entire house.
3. I will be patient and observe the patterns of the residents before making my move.
4. I have been around security system installation companies for four years. If you have a system, you probably don't know how to use it. If you have one, and it is armed, the password is most likely 1234.
5. I won't go back to see if the police have any leads in the case. Why does every criminal return to the scene of the crime?

I know what you're thinking: "Wow, it's a good thing Emily doesn't believe in stealing because otherwise she would take everything I own and never get caught."

Well, I'm here to tell you: It is a good thing.


The Harker's said...

Dave thinks I would make a good detective, so if you go criminal, I'll catch you.:):)

Merkley Jiating said...

I realize that Emily did mention that she has been around security systems for four years, but what she forgot to mention is that I've installed them for even longer than that. Since if she decided to go burglar I would be an accomplice rather I liked it or not, I would be in on it, and we could beat most any security system out there. With my added expertise we would be an unstoppable burglaring team, watch your valuables everyone, we're casing your place! :)


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